No! No! Don't jump to conclusions! I'm not talking black folks...
(Well... not citizen black folks and foreign black folks legally here...)
So... I was listening to talk radio on my way home from the food stores... (yes... stores... plural - it's how I roll!)... and the host and her guest were talking about how to deal with all the illegal aliens...
(*HUGE FRIGGIN' GRIN*)
And it hit me... the perfect solution: ENSLAVE THE BA$TARDS!
Now, now... I know what some of you are thinking... a bit "harsh"...
Ahh... but, folks... I've got some "refinements" to "traditional" slavery to propose!
First... we give the illegals fair warning... say a month... before the "Barker Laws" go into effect.
Second... the "slavery" penalty only will apply to those 17 years of age or older at the time of their identification as illegal aliens.
Third... we make sure that every middle-schooler and high-schooler knows what the deal is and we give them an opportunity to identify themselves... and from there we'll decide what to do with the ones who turn themselves in.
See, folks; I'm not a monster!
Now... here's the BEST part:
WE don't keep them as slaves here in America. No! That's not who we are as a People! Nope! We SELL 'em to any foreigner or foreign government or foreign corporation willing to pay a reasonable price and cover the "moving charges" to GET 'EM OUT OF MY FRIGGIN' COUNTRY!
But, wait! It gets even better! (And more humane!)
The sales would go through with the proviso that after 10 years of servitude... the slaves are to be given their freedom... AND... free transportation back to their country of origin... with $10,000 worth of local currency in their pockets with which to start fresh!
FOLKS...! Am I a friggin' genius or what...?!?! (A humanitarian genius!)
We get rid of our illegals... the government (hmm... let's split it between federal and state government) gets to keep the revenue from the sale... the illegal him/herself learns a valuable lesson about respecting U.S. sovereignty... and at the end of it... there's a $10,000 payoff provided by the former slave-owner.
Now... I ask you... WHAT could possibly be fairer than this?!