The mandatory State Department internal inquiry into the deadly Sept. 11 terror attack on a U.S. diplomatic post in Benghazi, Libya, slams bureaucrats for “grossly inadequate” security but says that poor leadership could not be punished under department regulations.
* SO... A WHITEWASH THAT DOESN'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THE COVER-UP. DISGUSTING. WE'VE TOTALLY LOST CONTROL OF OUR GOVERNMENT, FOLKS.
The report blames inadequate security at the mission on “systemic failures and leadership and management deficiencies at senior levels” of State Department headquarters, where officials turned down repeated requests from diplomats on the ground for more security, both at the embassy in Tripoli and in Benghazi.
* HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON IS... AND WAS... SECRETARY OF STATE - TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN. I GUESS THE BUCK DOESN'T STOP AT HER DESK AFTER ALL.
(*SMIRK*)
The report does not name any of the officials concerned...
(*HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER*)
A copy of the full, classified report was sent to Capitol Hill on Tuesday, ahead of a closed-door briefing Wednesday for lawmakers by Mr. Pickering, and fellow board member and former chairman of the joint chiefs of staff, retired Adm. Michael Mullen.
Mrs. Clinton had been scheduled to testify herself this week, but canceled her appearance owing to ill health.
* OH, PLEASE... WE KNEW CLINTON WOULD NEVER FACE QUESTIONING UNDER OATH.
(*ROLLING MY EYES*)
* FOLKS... AMERICA IS FUCKED. AND THE AVERAGE AMERICAN COULDN'T CARE LESS.
As the State Department began Tuesday to circulate a highly anticipated report into what happened in the Sept. 11 Libya consulate attack, a separate analysis found that the first reference to the anti-Islam film that was initially blamed for sparking the attack was not detected on social media until a day later.
* OOPS...
(*SMIRK*)
The independent review of more than 4,000 postings was conducted by a leading social media monitoring firm. “From the data we have, it’s hard for us to reach the conclusion that the consulate attack was motivated by the movie. Nothing in the immediate picture – surrounding the attack in Libya - suggests that,” Jeff Chapman, chief executive with Agincourt Solutions told Fox News.
* LISTEN... FOLKS... AGAIN... NONE OF THIS MATTERS. OBAMA WAS RE-ELECTED.
The Obama administration said Wednesday it will sell 200 million shares — or 40% of its remaining stake in General Motors Co. — back to the automaker and announced plans to completely exit the Detroit automaker by March 2014.
* OK, FOLKS... THE ABOVE IS PARAGRAPH ONE OF THE STORY...
* NOW... LET'S GO TO PARAGRAPH THIRTY-TWO...
The Treasury has said it expects to lose $24.3 billion on the $85 billion auto bailout.
* FOLKS... (*PAUSE*)... I... SHIT... YOU... NOT!
* FOLKS... THIS IS WHY MY "NEWSBITING" MATTERS.
(*SHRUG*)
* OH... BY THE WAY... SOMEHOW I DOUBT THAT THE INTREPID REPORTERS AND EDITORS HAVE FACTORED IN THE TAX BENEFITS (TAX FORGIVENESS...) GIVEN GM BY THE FEDS WHEN THEY TALLY UP LOSSES.
(*SMIRK*)
* OH... HERE'S SOME INFO BURIED WITHIN THE STORY THAT YOU MAY FIND... er... INTERESTING:
The Treasury has also agreed to waive its ban on GM using corporate aircraft — a condition it imposed on companies that got large bailouts in 2008 and 2009...
The Treasury is also waiving a "vitality commitment" that required certain U.S. manufacturing volumes...
* YEAH... YOU READ THAT RIGHT!
GM — which last month obtained a new $5.5 billion line of credit...
* MEANING DEBT. (YEAH... THAT'S WHAT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF CREDIT MEANS... IT MEANS TAKING ON DEBT...)
(*HYSTERICAL CACKLING LAUGHTER*)
* OK, FOLKS... NOW I WANT YOU TO PAY VERY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE FOLLOWING:
The [buyback] announcement comes exactly four years to the day that President George W. Bush announced he would rescue GM and Chrysler with a $17.4 billion bailout in December 2008 using the $700 billion Troubled Asset Relief Program. Bush stepped in after Congress failed to act. He added $7.5 billion for GM and Chrysler's auto finance arms...
* OK. GOT IT? BUSH! BUSH (WITH THE SUPPORT OF PELOSI, REID, AND THE DEMS WHO CONTROLLED CONGRESS - INCLUDING THEN-SENATOR BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA) LAID $24.9 BILLION IN TAXPAYER BAILOUT MONEY ON THE TABLE. THAT'S BAD, HUH... AND I SAID SO AT THE TIME. BUT GET THIS... GET HOW THE STORY CONTINUES...
...and President Obama added $60 billion to the $85 billion auto bailout.
(*SNORT*)
* SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT... THE JOURNALIST FOCUS IS ON "BUSH'S" $24.9 BILLION (APPROVED BY THE DEMS WHO RAN CONGRESS AT THE TIME) WHILE THE ADDITIONAL SIXTY-FUCKING-BILLION-DOLLAR ADD-ON BY OBAMA (AND THE DEMS) IS JUST AN "ASIDE."
* AGAIN... FOLKS... THIS IS WHY I NEWSBITE! IF ONLY I COULD REACH MORE PEOPLE!
Last year, the government exited Chrysler Group LLC and booked a $1.3 billion loss on its $12.5 billion bailout.
* UM... FOLKS... KEEP IN MIND... CHRYSLER IS FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES AN ITALIAN COMPANY... FIAT OWNS 61.8% OF THE COMPANY. (THE UNITED AUTO WORKERS UNION - PENSION FUND - OWNS THE REST. UNLIKE THE TAXPAYERS, THE UNION HAS SUFFERED NO LOSSES VIA THE BAILOUT - ONLY GAINS.)
Treasury also holds a 74% stake in Ally Financial Inc., the Detroit-based auto lender, as part of a $17.2 billion bailout.
Three State Department officials resigned under pressure Wednesday, less than a day after a damning report blamed management failures for a lack of security at the U.S. diplomatic mission in Benghazi, Libya, where militants killed the U.S. ambassador and three other Americans on Sept. 11.
* BIG... FRIGGIN'... DEAL.
An administration official said Eric Boswell, the assistant secretary of state for diplomatic security, Charlene Lamb, the deputy assistant secretary responsible for embassy security, and an unnamed official with the Bureau of Near East Affairs, had stepped down. The official spoke on condition of anonymity because he wasn't authorized to discuss personnel matters publicly.
* TAKING A HIT FOR THE TEAM NO DOUBT. ANYONE CARE TO GUESS AT THEIR EXIT PACKAGES... THEIR RETIREMENT BENEFITS... WHERE AND FOR HOW MUCH THEY'LL BE WORKING FOR IN SIX MONTH'S TIME... A YEAR'S TIME...?
* I'LL BET YOU ANYTHING THAT ALL THREE END UP MAKING MORE MONEY COURTESY OF SOME DEMOCRAT-CONNECTED THINK TANK, LOBBYING FIRM, OR OTHER PRIVATE ENDEAVER THAN THEY WERE MAKING AT THE STATE DEPARTMENT.
The report singled out the Bureau of Diplomatic Security and the Bureau of Near East Affairs for criticism, saying there appeared to be a lack of cooperation and confusion over protection at the mission in Benghazi, a city in Eastern Libya that was relatively lawless after the revolution that toppled Libyan strongman Moammar Gadhafi. But it appeared to break little new ground about the timeline of the Benghazi attack during which Libyan Ambassador Chris Stevens, information specialist Sean Smith and former Navy SEALs Glen Doherty and Tyrone Woods - who were contractors working for the CIA - were killed.
(*SMIRK*)
* FOLKS... THE OBJECT OF THE "INVESTIGATION" AND SUBSEQUENT "DAMNING REPORT" WASN'T TO "BREAK NEW GROUND" BUT RATHER TO FURTHER BURY THE TRUTH. ANYONE WHO DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THIS IS A FOOL.
The report did confirm, though, that contrary to initial accounts, there was no protest outside the facility.
In the immediate aftermath of the attack, administration officials linked the attack to the spreading protests that had begun in Cairo earlier that day over an American-made, anti-Islamic film. Those comments came after evidence already pointed to a distinct militant attack.
* TO REITERATE:
Those comments came after evidence already pointed to a distinct militant attack.
U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice appeared on numerous TV talk shows the Sunday after the attack and used the administration talking points linking it to the film. ... Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-OK) emerging from the Senate briefing on the report, kept up the congressional criticism of Rice. "Now we all know she had knowledge. She knew what the truth was. It was a cover-up," he said.
* WE ALWAYS KNEW THIS!
While criticizing State Department management in Washington along with the local militia force and contract guards that the mission depended on for protection, the report said U.S. personnel on the ground in Benghazi "performed with courage and readiness to risk their lives to protect their colleagues in a near-impossible situation."
It said the response by Diplomatic Security agents on the scene and CIA operatives at a nearby compound that later came under attack itself had been "timely and appropriate" and absolved the military from any blame. "There was simply not enough time for armed U.S. military assets to have made a difference," it said.
* B*U*L*L*S*H*I*T
* FOLKS... IT'S ALL IN THE ARCHIVES HERE AT USUALLY RIGHT... THE DAY BY DAY DOCUMENTATION.
* LISTEN... NOTICE THE REPORTER/EDITOR CLEAR "THE MILITARY." NOT "THE PENTAGON." NOT PANETTA. NO... SOMEHOW PANETTA'S NAME ISN'T MENTIONED IN THIS AP REPORT... (*SNORT*)
The report also discounted speculation that officials in Washington had refused appeals for additional help after the attack had begun.
* NOT "SPECULATION," FOLKS! THE PEOPLE ON THE GROUND WERE THE ONES WHO REFUSED TO "GO ALONG TO GET ALONG" AND LEAKED TO THE PRESS THAT THEY WERE INITIALLY DENIED PERMISSION TO RUSH TO THE RESCUE OF THE AMBASSADOR AND OTHER CONSULATE STAFF AT RISK!
The report said the evacuation of the dead and wounded 12 hours after the initial attack was due to "exceptional U.S. government coordination and military response" that helped save the lives of two seriously wounded Americans.
(*JUST SHAKING MY HEAD*)
* THE VICTORS WRITE THE HISTORY, FOLKS. OBAMA WON THE ELECTION. GAME... SET... MATCH.
Pentagon investigators concluded that a senior Defense Department official who’s been mentioned as a possible candidate to be the next CIA director leaked restricted information to the makers of an acclaimed film about the hunt for Osama bin Laden, and referred the case to the Justice Department, according to knowledgeable U.S. officials.
* REFERRED THE CASE TO ERIC HOLDER'S "JUSTICE" DEPARTMENT...???
(*GUFFAW*)
The Justice Department received the case involving Undersecretary of Defense for Intelligence Michael Vickers in September, but so far it’s declined to launch a criminal prosecution, said two senior U.S. officials who requested anonymity because of the sensitivity of the matter.
(*STILL CHUCKLING*)
* I KNOW... I KNOW... IT'S NOT REALLY FUNNY... BUT IF I DON'T LAUGH... I'LL CRY.
Vickers, a former Army special forces operator and onetime CIA paramilitary officer, is the top intelligence adviser to Defense Secretary Leon Panetta and oversees the Pentagon’s vast intelligence operations.
* FOLKS... SERIOUSLY... THE ONION COULDN'T WRITE A MORE DISTURBING SATIRE.
* FOLKS... THIS IS REALITY UNDER THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION.
The investigators found no evidence that White House officials were involved in any leaks of classified materials to the filmmakers, according to U.S. officials familiar with the findings.
* KEEP READING! YOU'RE GONNA LUV WHAT COMES NEXT!
They reached that conclusion, however...
(*DRUM ROLL*)
...without interviewing any White House officials or Panetta, who was the CIA director at the time of the bin Laden raid.
(*SNORT*) (*GUFFAW*) (*LAUGHING SO HARD MY STOMACH HURTS*)
* AGAIN... FOLKS... THIS IS A REAL NEWS REPORT! THIS ISN'T AN ONION PIECE! THIS ISN'T A SNL SKIT! THIS IS REALITY... AMERICA 2012.
Panetta reassured Congress in June – before the investigators reached their findings – that no classified information had been released to the filmmakers.
6 comments:
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/dec/18/review-board-slams-state-benghazi-security-failure/
The mandatory State Department internal inquiry into the deadly Sept. 11 terror attack on a U.S. diplomatic post in Benghazi, Libya, slams bureaucrats for “grossly inadequate” security but says that poor leadership could not be punished under department regulations.
* SO... A WHITEWASH THAT DOESN'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THE COVER-UP. DISGUSTING. WE'VE TOTALLY LOST CONTROL OF OUR GOVERNMENT, FOLKS.
The report blames inadequate security at the mission on “systemic failures and leadership and management deficiencies at senior levels” of State Department headquarters, where officials turned down repeated requests from diplomats on the ground for more security, both at the embassy in Tripoli and in Benghazi.
* HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON IS... AND WAS... SECRETARY OF STATE - TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN. I GUESS THE BUCK DOESN'T STOP AT HER DESK AFTER ALL.
(*SMIRK*)
The report does not name any of the officials concerned...
(*HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER*)
A copy of the full, classified report was sent to Capitol Hill on Tuesday, ahead of a closed-door briefing Wednesday for lawmakers by Mr. Pickering, and fellow board member and former chairman of the joint chiefs of staff, retired Adm. Michael Mullen.
Mrs. Clinton had been scheduled to testify herself this week, but canceled her appearance owing to ill health.
* OH, PLEASE... WE KNEW CLINTON WOULD NEVER FACE QUESTIONING UNDER OATH.
(*ROLLING MY EYES*)
* FOLKS... AMERICA IS FUCKED. AND THE AVERAGE AMERICAN COULDN'T CARE LESS.
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012/12/18/no-reference-to-anti-islam-film-on-social-media-in-libya-day-attack-analysis/
As the State Department began Tuesday to circulate a highly anticipated report into what happened in the Sept. 11 Libya consulate attack, a separate analysis found that the first reference to the anti-Islam film that was initially blamed for sparking the attack was not detected on social media until a day later.
* OOPS...
(*SMIRK*)
The independent review of more than 4,000 postings was conducted by a leading social media monitoring firm. “From the data we have, it’s hard for us to reach the conclusion that the consulate attack was motivated by the movie. Nothing in the immediate picture – surrounding the attack in Libya - suggests that,” Jeff Chapman, chief executive with Agincourt Solutions told Fox News.
* LISTEN... FOLKS... AGAIN... NONE OF THIS MATTERS. OBAMA WAS RE-ELECTED.
http://www.detroitnews.com/article/20121219/AUTO0103/212190382/Treasury-announces-GM-exit-strategy-automaker-buying-200-million-shares-from-U-S-?odyssey=mod|breaking|text|FRONTPAGE
The Obama administration said Wednesday it will sell 200 million shares — or 40% of its remaining stake in General Motors Co. — back to the automaker and announced plans to completely exit the Detroit automaker by March 2014.
* OK, FOLKS... THE ABOVE IS PARAGRAPH ONE OF THE STORY...
* NOW... LET'S GO TO PARAGRAPH THIRTY-TWO...
The Treasury has said it expects to lose $24.3 billion on the $85 billion auto bailout.
* FOLKS... (*PAUSE*)... I... SHIT... YOU... NOT!
* FOLKS... THIS IS WHY MY "NEWSBITING" MATTERS.
(*SHRUG*)
* OH... BY THE WAY... SOMEHOW I DOUBT THAT THE INTREPID REPORTERS AND EDITORS HAVE FACTORED IN THE TAX BENEFITS (TAX FORGIVENESS...) GIVEN GM BY THE FEDS WHEN THEY TALLY UP LOSSES.
(*SMIRK*)
* OH... HERE'S SOME INFO BURIED WITHIN THE STORY THAT YOU MAY FIND... er... INTERESTING:
The Treasury has also agreed to waive its ban on GM using corporate aircraft — a condition it imposed on companies that got large bailouts in 2008 and 2009...
The Treasury is also waiving a "vitality commitment" that required certain U.S. manufacturing volumes...
* YEAH... YOU READ THAT RIGHT!
GM — which last month obtained a new $5.5 billion line of credit...
* MEANING DEBT. (YEAH... THAT'S WHAT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF CREDIT MEANS... IT MEANS TAKING ON DEBT...)
(*HYSTERICAL CACKLING LAUGHTER*)
* OK, FOLKS... NOW I WANT YOU TO PAY VERY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE FOLLOWING:
The [buyback] announcement comes exactly four years to the day that President George W. Bush announced he would rescue GM and Chrysler with a $17.4 billion bailout in December 2008 using the $700 billion Troubled Asset Relief Program. Bush stepped in after Congress failed to act. He added $7.5 billion for GM and Chrysler's auto finance arms...
* OK. GOT IT? BUSH! BUSH (WITH THE SUPPORT OF PELOSI, REID, AND THE DEMS WHO CONTROLLED CONGRESS - INCLUDING THEN-SENATOR BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA) LAID $24.9 BILLION IN TAXPAYER BAILOUT MONEY ON THE TABLE. THAT'S BAD, HUH... AND I SAID SO AT THE TIME. BUT GET THIS... GET HOW THE STORY CONTINUES...
...and President Obama added $60 billion to the $85 billion auto bailout.
(*SNORT*)
* SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT... THE JOURNALIST FOCUS IS ON "BUSH'S" $24.9 BILLION (APPROVED BY THE DEMS WHO RAN CONGRESS AT THE TIME) WHILE THE ADDITIONAL SIXTY-FUCKING-BILLION-DOLLAR ADD-ON BY OBAMA (AND THE DEMS) IS JUST AN "ASIDE."
* AGAIN... FOLKS... THIS IS WHY I NEWSBITE! IF ONLY I COULD REACH MORE PEOPLE!
Last year, the government exited Chrysler Group LLC and booked a $1.3 billion loss on its $12.5 billion bailout.
* UM... FOLKS... KEEP IN MIND... CHRYSLER IS FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES AN ITALIAN COMPANY... FIAT OWNS 61.8% OF THE COMPANY. (THE UNITED AUTO WORKERS UNION - PENSION FUND - OWNS THE REST. UNLIKE THE TAXPAYERS, THE UNION HAS SUFFERED NO LOSSES VIA THE BAILOUT - ONLY GAINS.)
Treasury also holds a 74% stake in Ally Financial Inc., the Detroit-based auto lender, as part of a $17.2 billion bailout.
(*CLAP...CLAP...CLAP*)
* TWO-PARTER... (Part 1 of 2)
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_US_LIBYA_ATTACKS?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2012-12-19-12-01-41
Three State Department officials resigned under pressure Wednesday, less than a day after a damning report blamed management failures for a lack of security at the U.S. diplomatic mission in Benghazi, Libya, where militants killed the U.S. ambassador and three other Americans on Sept. 11.
* BIG... FRIGGIN'... DEAL.
An administration official said Eric Boswell, the assistant secretary of state for diplomatic security, Charlene Lamb, the deputy assistant secretary responsible for embassy security, and an unnamed official with the Bureau of Near East Affairs, had stepped down. The official spoke on condition of anonymity because he wasn't authorized to discuss personnel matters publicly.
* TAKING A HIT FOR THE TEAM NO DOUBT. ANYONE CARE TO GUESS AT THEIR EXIT PACKAGES... THEIR RETIREMENT BENEFITS... WHERE AND FOR HOW MUCH THEY'LL BE WORKING FOR IN SIX MONTH'S TIME... A YEAR'S TIME...?
* I'LL BET YOU ANYTHING THAT ALL THREE END UP MAKING MORE MONEY COURTESY OF SOME DEMOCRAT-CONNECTED THINK TANK, LOBBYING FIRM, OR OTHER PRIVATE ENDEAVER THAN THEY WERE MAKING AT THE STATE DEPARTMENT.
The report singled out the Bureau of Diplomatic Security and the Bureau of Near East Affairs for criticism, saying there appeared to be a lack of cooperation and confusion over protection at the mission in Benghazi, a city in Eastern Libya that was relatively lawless after the revolution that toppled Libyan strongman Moammar Gadhafi. But it appeared to break little new ground about the timeline of the Benghazi attack during which Libyan Ambassador Chris Stevens, information specialist Sean Smith and former Navy SEALs Glen Doherty and Tyrone Woods - who were contractors working for the CIA - were killed.
(*SMIRK*)
* FOLKS... THE OBJECT OF THE "INVESTIGATION" AND SUBSEQUENT "DAMNING REPORT" WASN'T TO "BREAK NEW GROUND" BUT RATHER TO FURTHER BURY THE TRUTH. ANYONE WHO DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THIS IS A FOOL.
* TO BE CONTINUED...
* CONCLUDING... (Part 2 of 2)
The report did confirm, though, that contrary to initial accounts, there was no protest outside the facility.
In the immediate aftermath of the attack, administration officials linked the attack to the spreading protests that had begun in Cairo earlier that day over an American-made, anti-Islamic film. Those comments came after evidence already pointed to a distinct militant attack.
* TO REITERATE:
Those comments came after evidence already pointed to a distinct militant attack.
U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice appeared on numerous TV talk shows the Sunday after the attack and used the administration talking points linking it to the film. ... Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-OK) emerging from the Senate briefing on the report, kept up the congressional criticism of Rice. "Now we all know she had knowledge. She knew what the truth was. It was a cover-up," he said.
* WE ALWAYS KNEW THIS!
While criticizing State Department management in Washington along with the local militia force and contract guards that the mission depended on for protection, the report said U.S. personnel on the ground in Benghazi "performed with courage and readiness to risk their lives to protect their colleagues in a near-impossible situation."
It said the response by Diplomatic Security agents on the scene and CIA operatives at a nearby compound that later came under attack itself had been "timely and appropriate" and absolved the military from any blame. "There was simply not enough time for armed U.S. military assets to have made a difference," it said.
* B*U*L*L*S*H*I*T
* FOLKS... IT'S ALL IN THE ARCHIVES HERE AT USUALLY RIGHT... THE DAY BY DAY DOCUMENTATION.
* LISTEN... NOTICE THE REPORTER/EDITOR CLEAR "THE MILITARY." NOT "THE PENTAGON." NOT PANETTA. NO... SOMEHOW PANETTA'S NAME ISN'T MENTIONED IN THIS AP REPORT... (*SNORT*)
The report also discounted speculation that officials in Washington had refused appeals for additional help after the attack had begun.
* NOT "SPECULATION," FOLKS! THE PEOPLE ON THE GROUND WERE THE ONES WHO REFUSED TO "GO ALONG TO GET ALONG" AND LEAKED TO THE PRESS THAT THEY WERE INITIALLY DENIED PERMISSION TO RUSH TO THE RESCUE OF THE AMBASSADOR AND OTHER CONSULATE STAFF AT RISK!
The report said the evacuation of the dead and wounded 12 hours after the initial attack was due to "exceptional U.S. government coordination and military response" that helped save the lives of two seriously wounded Americans.
(*JUST SHAKING MY HEAD*)
* THE VICTORS WRITE THE HISTORY, FOLKS. OBAMA WON THE ELECTION. GAME... SET... MATCH.
http://www.mcclatchydc.com/2012/12/17/177676/bin-laden-leak-is-referred-to.html
Pentagon investigators concluded that a senior Defense Department official who’s been mentioned as a possible candidate to be the next CIA director leaked restricted information to the makers of an acclaimed film about the hunt for Osama bin Laden, and referred the case to the Justice Department, according to knowledgeable U.S. officials.
* REFERRED THE CASE TO ERIC HOLDER'S "JUSTICE" DEPARTMENT...???
(*GUFFAW*)
The Justice Department received the case involving Undersecretary of Defense for Intelligence Michael Vickers in September, but so far it’s declined to launch a criminal prosecution, said two senior U.S. officials who requested anonymity because of the sensitivity of the matter.
(*STILL CHUCKLING*)
* I KNOW... I KNOW... IT'S NOT REALLY FUNNY... BUT IF I DON'T LAUGH... I'LL CRY.
Vickers, a former Army special forces operator and onetime CIA paramilitary officer, is the top intelligence adviser to Defense Secretary Leon Panetta and oversees the Pentagon’s vast intelligence operations.
* FOLKS... SERIOUSLY... THE ONION COULDN'T WRITE A MORE DISTURBING SATIRE.
* FOLKS... THIS IS REALITY UNDER THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION.
The investigators found no evidence that White House officials were involved in any leaks of classified materials to the filmmakers, according to U.S. officials familiar with the findings.
* KEEP READING! YOU'RE GONNA LUV WHAT COMES NEXT!
They reached that conclusion, however...
(*DRUM ROLL*)
...without interviewing any White House officials or Panetta, who was the CIA director at the time of the bin Laden raid.
(*SNORT*) (*GUFFAW*) (*LAUGHING SO HARD MY STOMACH HURTS*)
* AGAIN... FOLKS... THIS IS A REAL NEWS REPORT! THIS ISN'T AN ONION PIECE! THIS ISN'T A SNL SKIT! THIS IS REALITY... AMERICA 2012.
Panetta reassured Congress in June – before the investigators reached their findings – that no classified information had been released to the filmmakers.
* AND, HEY... IF YOU CAN'T TRUST LEON PANETTA...
(*SNICKER*) (*JUST SHAKING MY HEAD*)
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