Forget "the Inmates;" the Scumbags Are Running the Asylum

Obama's Amerika, folks... read it and weep...

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* GOTTA LUV THE UK PRESS!

Political, military and international figures are among the nearly three dozen people who filed letters of support for former CIA Director David Petraeus...

* I CALL THIS GROUP "SSFS" - SCUMBAGS SUPPORTING A FELLOW SCUMBAG."

...whose career was ruined for sharing classified materials with a mistress who was writing his biography.

* IN ENGLISH: TREASON. AT THE VERY LEAST... ESPIONAGE.

* FOLKS... THIS WASN'T "MISHANDLING" CLASSIFIED MATERIAL - THIS WAS BASICALLY TRADING IT FOR SEX. PETRAEUS SHOULD BE POUNDING ROCKS IN LEAVENWORTH RIGHT NOW.

A federal judge in Charlotte unsealed the documents Monday...

* WHY WERE THEY EVER SEALED IN... THE... FIRST... PLACE? HMM?

...two months after the retired four-star general was sentenced to two years of probation and fined $100,000 for "unauthorized removal and retention" of classified information.

* BUT HE DIDN'T SIMPLY "REMOVE" CLASSIFIED MATERIALS... DOCUMENTS... AND "RETAIN" THEM AGAINST STANDARD OPERATING PROCEDURE - HE SHARED CLASSIFIED INTELLIGENCE WITH HIS MISTRESS... TRADING AMERICA'S SECRETS FOR SEX!

While his sentencing was public, documents in the case had been sealed, including letters submitted to Judge David Keesler before he sentenced Petraeus.

(*SMIRK*)

* FOLKS... THERE'S NO REASON IN THE WORLD THOSE LETTERS SHOULD HAVE EVER BEEN SEALED. JUDGE KEESLER SHOULD BE THROWN OFF THE BENCH FOR HAVING DONE SO!

But a coalition of news organizations, including The Associated Press, pushed for the release of the materials.

* AGAIN... THE MATERIALS - THE LETTERS - SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN HIDDEN FROM THE AMERICAN PEOPLE!

* FOLKS... WE ARE CLEARLY... CLEARLY... NOT LIVING IN THE AMERICA I GREW UP IN.

(*PURSED LIPS*)

Republican Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina and Democratic Sen. Diane Feinstein of California praised Petraeus' military career.

* WONDER WHAT THEY THINK OF BENEDICT ARNOLD?

So did former British Prime Minister Tony Blair.

* THE INTERNATIONAL OLIGARCH STICKS TOGETHER, FOLKS...

(*SIGH*)

'I can say without hesitation, General David Petraeus was an extraordinary military leader who provided incredible leadership during the most difficult days in Iraq and Afghanistan,' said Graham, who is running for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination.

* AGAIN, FOLKS... BUT THIS TIME SERIOUSLY... BEFORE HE BECAME A TRAITOR, BENEDICT ARNOLD WAS A HERO AND ONE OF THE CONTINENTAL ARMY'S FINEST GENERALS!

Blair said Petraeus' expertise on counterterrorism issues is needed.

(*SNORTING WHILE SHAKING MY HEAD*)

'In my view, he is one of the most outstanding public servants I have ever worked with,' said Blair, the British prime minister between 1997 and 2007. 'We need his service at this time and his brainpower.'

* UNFRIGGIN'BELIEVABLE...

Feinstein, a Democrat, said she hoped the judge would take into account Petraeus' 'extraordinary contributions.'

* HE... TRADED... MILITARY... SECRETS... FOR... SEX...!!!

* OR... BEST CASE SCENARIO... HE SIMPLY VIOLATED HIS DUTY AND ENDANGERED AMERICAN NATIONAL SECURITY - WILLINGLY - IN ORDER TO... I DON'T KNOW... IMPRESS HIS MISTRESS... HELP HIS MISTRESS PROFESSIONALLY...???

'General Petraeus recognizes the error of his actions and has admitted his guilt. ... I believe the punishment proposed in his plea agreement is fair, and that he recognizes the error of his actions as well as the importance of protecting classified information,' Feinstein said.

* FOLKS... YOU DO UNDERSTAND OBAMA (AND PERHAPS BUSH BEFORE HIM) HAVE ORDERED AMERICAN CITIZENS ASSASSINATED FOR ACTIONS WHICH "ENDANGER AMERICAN NATIONAL SECURITY," DON'T YOU? DO YOU THINK A PRIVATE... OR CORPORAL... OR SERGEANT... OR LIEUTENANT... OR CAPTAIN... OR MAJOR... (YOU GET THE IDEA)... WOULD HAVE AVOIDED AT THE VERY LEAST SERIOUS JAIL TIME FOR ENGAGING IN WHAT PATRAEUS ENGAGED IN?

(*JUST SHAKING MY HEAD*)

When Petraeus was sentenced, some argued that he received preferential treatment, noting the government's prosecution in other security cases.

YA THINK...?!?!

(*MIGRAINE HEADACHE*)

Supporters of Jeffrey Sterling, a former CIA officer convicted of giving a New York Times reporter classified details of an operation to derail Iran's nuclear ambitions, had noted the Petraeus case. Sterling was sentenced last month to 42 months in prison, but federal prosecutors in Virginia had been urging a stiffer sentence.

(*THROWING MY HANDS IN THE AIR*)

'I believe the punishment proposed in his plea agreement is fair, and that he recognizes the error of his actions,' wrote Democratic U.S. Senator from California Diane Feinstein.

* HEY... MAYBE HE'S SCREWING HER TOO?! (YA NEVER KNOW WITH THESE SCUMBAGS...)

'I can say without hesitation, General David Petraeus was an extraordinary military leader' gushed Republican presidential candidate Lindsey Graham.

* DOUCHEBAG...

* YEAH... I KNOW... BUT GRAHAM IS SUCH A ...

(*SPITTING ON THE GROUND*)

Petraeus' plea agreement was filed in federal court in Charlotte, North Carolina, the city where Paula Broadwell, the general's biographer and former lover, lives with her husband and children.

* HA... HA... HA... HA...

* FOLKS... YA CAN'T MAKE THIS $HIT UP...

* YEP... THESE ARE AMERICA'S MOVERS AND SHAKERS...

Prosecutors said that while Broadwell was writing her book in 2011, Petraeus gave her eight binders of classified material he had improperly kept from his time as the top military commander in Afghanistan. Days later, he took the binders back to his house.

Those binders were later seized by the FBI in an April 2013 search of Petraeus' Arlington, Virginia, home, where he had kept them in the unlocked drawer of a desk in a ground-floor study.

Prosecutors said that after resigning from the CIA in November 2012, Petraeus signed a form falsely attesting he had no classified material. He also lied to FBI agents by denying he supplied the information to Broadwell, according to court documents.

* FOLKS... YOU'RE READING THIS - RIGHT?

* FOLKS... THIS IS NO LONGER AMERICA... THEY'RE NO LONGER EVEN PRETENDING....

In his letter to the judge, retired Admiral Michael Mullen, who served as chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said Petraeus knows he made a mistake.

* MADE... A... "MISTAKE...?!?!"

* YEP... "GOOD OL' MIKE MULLEN...

(*SPITTING ON THE GROUND AGAIN*)

'He is a human being of character...

* HA... HA... HA... GEEZUS... I'D LOVE TO KNOW MULLEN'S DEFINITION OF LACK OF CHARACTER...

(*JUST SHAKING MY HEAD*)

...and strong moral fiber...

* FOLKS...

(*HEADING TO THE TOILET TO THROW UP*)

* FOLKS... THESE ARE AMERICA'S LEADERS WRITING THIS $HIT... GOING TO BAT FOR THIS SCUMBAG... 

(*STILL SHAKING MY HEAD*)