Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Drunk'n Debauchery in Key West 2011


O.K., not all that much debauchery...

(O.K., o.k., no debauchery at all... not even much actual "drunkenness" to be honest...)

The point is... year four... Key West... the Barkers and the Steubings rule!

We flew Spirit. LGA to FLL. (Shout out to Phil for the ride... thanks, buddy!)

Good flight. Downed a couple bloody marys. (That Mrs. T's in a can just sucks... and Smirnoff vodka... yuck!) Got in a few minutes early, picked up the luggage, and by 10:15 a.m. we were in the rental car - a white Crown Vic with just over 1,000 miles. (Btw... even with the outrageous airport pick-up/drop-off fees and taxes... under $200 for the "week's" rental!)

We had a couple of hours to kill prior to Drunk'n Ted's and Drunk'n Mary's arrival, so it was off to the Winn Dixie for booze and beer and then to a wonderful little French bakery for breakfast. (Yum!)

"T & M" got in a few minutes early and we four drinkateers were on the road headed for Key West by 1:15 p.m. (Without stopping it's about 3.5 hrs. from FLL to Key West. After our usual stop at Parrotdise we arrived in Paradise at around 5:30 p.m.

So... where do "the cool people" (namely, us!) stay in Key West? Where else would four drinkateers of our stature stay but at the Southernmost House?!

We're talking the perfect location... we're talking an architectural icon which has hosted Presidents and Kings... the rich and the famous... and now... us.

(Seriously, folks... browse the website... check the place out!)

Our second floor room was magnificent! A huge, high, hand-carved mahogany four poster canopied king bed, other period furniture, top-quality linens, marble floor, 16-ft. ceiling... light and airy with four (or was it five...???) windows, and direct access to a huge front porch overlooking Duval Street and the ocean.

Drunk'n Ted's and Drunk'n Mary's room was also located on the second floor; their room was perhaps a bit smaller than ours and their bed was a queen rather than a king, but the quality of the furnishings and linens was equally high and their room too boasted a 16-ft. ceiling.

(Again, folks... seriously... browse the website... Southernmost House really is a cool place with a fascinating history!)

So, anyway... after unpacking (o.k., after Mary unpacked) it was down to the pool for a swim.

After our swim... a stroll down Duval - for my Mary, Ted, and me; Original Drunk'n Mary (heretofore ODM) decided that an early night was the better part of valor.

First we hit the Parrot - where it was ukulele night. (I shit you not...!)

Next... Pete's Dueling Piano Bar! What a place, folks! Not quite Pat O'Brien's... but close enough! Supposedly Pete's had opened prior to our 2010 Key West trip, but if so... it must have been so dead back then that we didn't even notice a new place had opened up! Not this time, though...! This time you couldn't miss the place and the outstanding entertainment coupled with an enthusiastic crowd, a tasty tap selection, and reasonable prices made for a great first impression... and second impression... and so and and so forth. (Seriously... Pete's is now on the "anchor" list of top Key West spots!)

We hung at Pete's till 11:00 p.m. or so before hunger drove us to Mr. Z's in search of a stromboli to go - which we found... which we took home... which Ted and I ate while ODM and MDM (my Drunk'n Mary) slept. (MDM couldn't keep her eyes open long enough to partake of the quite decent - for non-NY - stromboli.)

Anyway, kids...

Rather than do the usual post-vacation travelogue - the day by day travelogue - allow me to save time and space by just hitting the highlights of the new places we hit this time around:

Thursday night's dinner: Camilles. Not bad. Didn't blow my socks off. The food was good... but not exceptional. The waiter pissed me off.

O.K., here's what happened: Coupons are ubiquitous in Key West. Not only is there a lot of competition for tourist dollars, but the locals like to get a break as well. That said... Ted and ODM aren't really "coupon people" and MDM and I also take the view that it's a scumbag move to nickel and dime the locals who are just trying to make a living the same as everyone else. That said... when four people - especially four people like the four of us - are going to a restaurant it's gonna be a hefty bill with (at the very least!) a generous tip... so... having the establishment throw in a free drink or dessert isn't exactly a hardship for a place serving us - particularly when we're doing the whole "soup to nuts" thing and sparing no expense!

Anyway... when we sat down at Camilles I asked the waiter if the "free bottle of wine" offered via their coupon was worth trying or should we just go straight for a decent bottle off the wine list. He advised us to stick to the wine list if we were "into" wine and so we did. (And here's one reason why: the coupon offered either a bottle of wine... or free dessert; I figured we'd even if we only ordered one or two desserts to share we'd still get the "win" of a freebie which always puts a smile on my face just as a matter of "hey, we appreciate your business!")

When the check came the waiter had charged us for everything - no free dessert... not even a free coffee! This ticked me off because just as I take pride in not wanting to nickel and dime a local business, I also don't want the local business to pull a fast one and try to nickel and dime me!

And here's what really pissed me off: Although our coupon entitled us to one dessert per person (in lieu of one bottle of wine per couple) we had only ordered one dessert for the four of us to split! (We were stuffed from pre-dinner cocktails, appetizers, entrees, a couple bottles of wine, coffee...) You'd think that the waiter would have had the good sense to not only "comp" us our single dessert, but also "comp" us ODM's dessert... a Spanish Coffee. But no! He tried to pull a fast one!

How'd that work out for him? He ended up "honoring" the coupon by removing the charge for the single dessert anyway... but instead of getting a tip of 20% plus, I tipped him 15% on the nose. (Frigg'n stupid... the guy lost himself $10 minimum.)

(Anyway... that was one of only two episodes where service was a problem this trip. The other episode... I'll get to it later!)

Hmm... other new restaurants...

Oh! There was Pisces! Supposed to be the premier seafood restaurant in Key West... but just didn't do it for me. Oh, it was fine. Typical high end white tablecloth... blah, blah, blah. Excellent service. No complaints about the food... it's just that except for my appetizer (Roulade “Czarina” -- Smoked Salmon and Goat Cheese wrapped in Crisp Potato with Horseradish Creme Fraiche, Pickled Beets & Cucumber), to repeat what I noted about Camilles, the food just didn't knock my socks off.

(*SHRUG*)

Other "new" restaurants?

We also finally made it to Latitudes this trip!

I've gotta say, Latitudes was worth Ted's money.

(*HUGE FRIGG'N GRIN*)

The food was very, very good and the setting (literally on the beach) was well worth the price of admission. After enjoying excellent cocktails served by a friendly bartender inside in their lovely bar we were escorted out to our tiki torch lit table immaculately set with fine linens, crystal, and cutlery.

Our waiter was a real nice guy... but Key West - even at a AAA 4-Diamond resort restaurant - ain't New York. The waiter didn't know off-hand how much the Louis XIII was! (He checked... reported back that it was $165 per pour... but he didn't know how many ounces the pour was.)

Although Ted had told me that I was welcome to avail myself of the 30-year-old Glenfiddich I had spied sitting on the top shelf of the bar I decided to give Ted - and his wallet - a brake.

(*WINK*)

Hey... am I a good friend or am I a good friend?!

Seriously... I recommend Latitudes. Chances are we won't be making it a yearly stop (just too many other great restaurants we've yet to hit), but I'm certainly glad we finally tried it.

Another "first time try" restaurant... Abbondanza.

Once again... the food at this place was just o.k.

We had a wacky - but nice - waitress who regaled us with the tale of how she's been scammed in a con scheme. (Nice looking girl... not the brightest bulb.) Very enthusiastic and just listening to her heavy Rhode Island accent in this particular setting put smiles on all our faces.

The food was fine overall (and the prices were reasonable!), but my veal parmigiana was bland. Everything was kinda bland. That said, nice atmosphere... a good mixed crowd of couples, groups, families, locals, and tourists... and nothing was actually bad. Would I go back? No. But would I tell folks who asked if they should try it that they should? Sure. Why not! Perhaps what tasted bland to me might be perfect for a less... er... adventurous palate... a non-New York palate.

(*SHRUG*)

The last "new" place we hit this trip (and actually it is a "new" place) was Sweet Tea's.

I had stumbled upon a good review for Sweet Tea's during this year's trip planning process, but it seemed like more of a cocktail stop than a dinner stop. Having grabbed a few cocktails there one afternoon and sampled their homemade truffled mac & cheese I believe we made a mistake by not doing a full lunch or dinner there. Assuming they make it... we'll be givin' them a shot to impress us with dinner next year!

Other than the "new" restaurants already mentioned we discovered a few new watering holes - one being Joe's Tap Room (where we watched the Jets blow it - they lost to the Patriots) and the other being The Porch, which I really, really loved! (Check the link out and you'll see why!)

Let's see... what else?

Well... we hit Pepe's for "Mac & Cheese Friday" lunch. Wonderful as always! Great service... great drinks... great food!

One day we availed ourselves of the simply outstanding happy hours at Southernmost Beach Cafe...

(*CONTENTED SIGH*)

Oh...! Oh...! I almost forgot...!!! We finally made it to Martin's this year...!!!

What a wonderful place...!!!

This year we only made it for Sunday brunch... but that "taste" of Martin's was more than enough to ensure that Martin's will indeed be on the "must have dinner there" list for next year!

(Folks... seriously... just browse through Martin's menus... check out the photos... this is a definitive "Bill Place" if ever there was one!)

Oh... almost forgot to fill you in on the other disappointing service experience - the one aside from Camilles...

One night the four of us hit Pete's for drinks and live music. This hot little piece came by to take drink orders. She came to me first and I told her "I'll have a bock!"

Well... apparently even though MDM was sitting right next to me... this chick thought that I said "I'll have a Fu.."

(*SNORT*)

Even after I pointed to the keg handle - the one clearly marked "Shiner Bock" - brewed by Spoetzi Brewery - the chick still walked away in a huff and that was the last we saw of any server all night! We had to keep on going to the bar!

(Weird, huh...?!?!)

Well... that's about it. I believe I've covered the bases for this latest trip. (Anyone interested in a more "blow-by-blow" account of what a Drunk'n Bill, My Drunk'n Mary, Drunk'n Ted, and Original Drunk'n Mary Key West excursion is like... well... just go back to past October archives here on the blog and you'll get the full picture.

It is... awesome!

It is... exhausting.

It is... an annual event!

Mike D... perhaps next year...?

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