Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Barker's Newsbites: Wednesday, May 25, 2011
It's good to be the Big Guy!
Seriously...
Just imagine how many fights have been avoided thanks to my God-given... er... stature!
Take yesterday for example:
Mary and I had to pick up a few items at Walmart. I was - as usual - in a good mood.
(Like my friend Colleen's late father used to say, "Who has it better than Bill Barker?!")
Anyway... as we wander through the store I'm singing Sinatra - specifically... "It Happened In Monterrey."
Great song, right?!
Well... this being the Monroe, NY Walmart fellow shoppers of... er... Hispanic descent are not uncommon.
So... we finish loading the cart and head for the registers. It's pretty crowded, but we get in line behind a gentleman, his wife, and their young daughter - perhaps five years old or so.
I'm singing!
They're... er... probably Mexican.
(*CHUCKLE WHICH TURNS INTO A BELLY LAUGH*)
The little girl is fascinated by this big guy singing... quite frankly, she had no idea what to make of me! The dad is just staring at me. The mom actually looks a bit nervous.
(*STILL LAUGHING AS I PICTURE IT*)
Me? I redouble my efforts to amuse the little girl! (Hey... I was in good voice... just sayin'...)
Finally Mary punches me in the shoulder and through gritted teeth snarls "shut up!"
I'm smiling. (Hey... this is me we're talking about!)
The little girl is still staring...
In my best "hail fellow, well met" voice I address her with "hiya, honey, how ya doin'?!" and start waving with my best "Bill grin."
The little girl smiles back but it's clear she's not used to jolly fellow shoppers serenading her!
The dad then speaks, saying to his daughter, "say hello to the nice man." He then smiles and says... quote... he "likes my sense of humor."
I give him the thumbs up, a wink, and a thanks for the compliment.
Folks... (*PAUSE*) (*SIGH*) (*CHUCKLE*)... it wasn't for a few moments till the meaning of his comment sunk in. I had been thinking to myself, "well... thanks for the compliment... but I was just singing... wasn't trying to be funny..."
Then it clicked!
This poor guy - and his wife, no doubt - must have thought I was being a wise guy and "addressing" the song to them as MEXICANS as opposed to me just being me and merrily singing a Sinatra song at near-full volume while strolling through Walmart!
(*LAUGHING OUT LOUD*)
I mean, think about it... imagine I'm 5'6" instead of 6'4"!
(*STILL LAUGHING*)
The moral of the story...?
It's good to be Bill!
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2 comments:
http://washingtonexaminer.com/politics/2011/05/obama-skirts-rule-law-reward-pals-punish-foes
Question: What do the following have in common? Eckert Cold Storage Co., Kerly Homes of Yuma, Classic Party Rentals, West Coast Turf Inc., Ellenbecker Investment Group Inc., Only in San Francisco, Hotel Nikko, International Pacific Halibut Commission, City of Puyallup, Local 485 Health and Welfare Fund, Chicago Plastering Institute Health & Welfare Fund, Blue Cross Blue Shield of Tennessee, Teamsters Local 522 Fund Welfare Fund Roofers Division, StayWell Saipan Basic Plan, CIGNA, Caribbean Workers' Voluntary Employees' Beneficiary Health and Welfare Plan.
Answer: They are all among the 1,372 businesses, state and local governments, labor unions and insurers, covering 3,095,593 individuals or families, that have been granted a waiver from ObamaCare by Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius.
(*SMIRK*)
If ObamaCare is so great, why do so many people want to get out from under it?
(*SNICKER*)
[W]hy are more than half of those 3,095,593 in plans run by labor unions, which were among Obamacare's biggest political supporters? (Union members are only 12% of all employees but have gotten 50.3% of ObamaCare waivers.)
Just in April, Sebelius granted 38 waivers to restaurants, nightclubs, spas and hotels in former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's San Francisco congressional district. Pelosi's office said she had nothing to do with it.
(*DARK CHUCKLE*) (*SNORT*)
On its website HHS pledges that the waiver process will be transparent. But it doesn't list those whose requests for waivers have been denied.
(*EYEBROWS RAISED*)
* FOLKS... I STRONGLY URGE YOU TO CLICK ON THE ABOVE-PROVIDED LINK AND READ THE FULL PIECE.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703421204576329420414284558.html?mod=WSJ_Opinion_LEADTop
The Environmental Protection Agency recently issued 946 pages of new rules requiring that U.S. power plants sharply reduce their (already low) emissions of mercury and other air pollutants.
(*HEADACHE*) (*ROLLING MY EYES*)
[Rogue] EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson claims that while the regulations will cost electricity producers $10.9 billion annually...
(*JUST SHAKING MY HEAD*) Er... FOLKS...? THESE COSTS ARE PASSED ON TO THE CUSTOMERS - MEANING US!
...they will [supposedly] save 17,000 lives and generate up to $140 billion in health benefits.
(*ROLLING MY EYES AGAIN*)
There is no factual basis for these assertions.
* TO REPEAT
There is no factual basis for these assertions.
To build its case against mercury, the EPA systematically ignored evidence and clinical studies that contradict its regulatory agenda, which is to punish hydrocarbon use.
* YEP. SOUNDS LIKE THE EPA.
Mercury has always existed naturally in Earth's environment. A 2009 study found mercury deposits in Antarctic ice across 650,000 years. Mercury is found in air, water, rocks, soil and trees, which absorb it from the environment. This is why our bodies evolved with proteins and antioxidants that help protect us from this and other potential contaminants.
* DUH...!!!
The proposed standards will do nothing to reduce exaggerated threats from mercury and other air pollutants. Indeed, the rules will worsen America's health and well-being - especially for young children and women of child-bearing age. Not only will they raise heating, air conditioning and food costs, but they will scare people away from eating nutritious fish that should be in everyone's diet.
America needs affordable, reliable electricity. It needs better health and nutrition. It needs an EPA that focuses on real risks, instead of wasting hard-earned taxpayer and consumer dollars fabricating dangers and evidence.
* FOLKS... AGAIN... READ THE FULL PIECE. (IN CASE THE LINK FAILS, JUST GOOGLE "THE MYTH OF KILLER MERCURYWILLIE SOON PAUL DRIESSEN")
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