Barker's Science Experiment
O.K., so yesterday...
(And that's the key here, folks... yesterday...)
...I made myself a bit of egg salad.
Part of my egg salad recipe is - of course - bacon.
(By the way... we use turkey bacon here at Chateau Barker.)
So... anyway... yesterday morning while preparing my egg salad (enough for two servings) I nuked (rather than fried) the bacon.
Meanwhile... I prepared the egg salad as the bacon was being nuked.
Then... I ate half the egg salad, saving the other half for today.
Now, folks... notice anything missing from this sequence of events...?
That's right...! When last we saw our beautiful bacon it was being irradiated! (Ah... but what happened next...?!?!)
And here we come to Barker's Science Experiment!
This morning when I awoke my beloved bride informed me that she hadn't made my coffee because there was still a cup from the other day left over.
Now, folks... waste not, want not is my credo. So... I asked my beloved to please pour and nuke that remaining cup for me and in addition make me another pot.
Can you guess what comes next, folks...?
Yep! You guessed it! I'm in the bathroom brushing my teeth when Mary comes in behind me with a plate in her hands... a plate that appears to hold folded over paper towels.
Yep! My bacon! From yesterday...!
It seems that in my hast yesterday morning, I had forgotten to open the microwave, take out the cooked bacon, and add it to my egg salad. (Hey... out of sight, out of mind; next time I'll be sure to use a frying pan!)
So... what would a sane person do at this point?
(YES...! OBVIOUSLY...! A SANE PERSON WOULD THROW OUT THE NEAR-24-HOUR-OLD BACON!)
But, folks... we're talking me... not so sane...
What do I do? I re-nuke the bacon! Re-wrapping the previously cooked bacon in fresh paper towel, I re-nuke the bacon for 2 minutes. (I figure that will kill any bacteria...)
After re-nuking the bacon, I crumble it into the remaining egg salad and...
I EAT IT...!
May God have mercy on my soul... and my digestive track.
I do have a bit of a cast-iron stomach. We'll see! If I die... it's been great knowing all of you!
8 comments:
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-05-06/u-s-payrolls-increased-244-000-in-april-unemployment-rate-climbs-to-9-.html
[T]he share of the population in the labor force... down to 58.4% from 58.5% a month earlier.
* FOLKS... IT'S NOT UNTIL PARAGRAPH #9 THAT THE "REPORTING" FINDS TIME TO... er... REPORT THIS MOST IMPORTANT FACT!
* FOLKS... I SIMPLY CAN'T STRESS STRONGLY ENOUGH HOW DISHONEST THE MSM OFTEN IS. DISHONESTY MIXED WITH INCOMPETENCE IS BAD, FOLKS... VERY BAD!
* TO REITERATE:
[T]he share of the population in the labor force... down to 58.4% from 58.5% a month earlier.
* THINK ABOUT THAT, FOLKS... JUST PONDER THAT LITTLE... er... "DETAIL."
(*JUST SHAKING MY HEAD*)
http://www.bls.gov/news.release/empsit.t15.htm
* BOTTOM LINE, FOLKS...
U3 UNEMPLOYMENT: 9% (UP FROM 8.8%)
U6 UNEMPLOYMENT: 15.9% (UP FROM 15.7%)
(*SHRUG*)
LET THE MSM SPIN... HERE... YOU'LL GET THE STRAIGHT DOPE.
OH... BTW... THE (U3) UNEMPLOYMENT RATE FOR DECEMBER 2006 - THE LAST YEAR BUSH WAS PRESIDENT WITH REPUBLICANS CONTROLLING CONGRESS - 4.4%.
OH... BTW... THE (U3) UNEMPLOYMENT RATE FOR DECEMBER 2008 - THE LAST YEAR BUSH WAS PRESIDENT (THOUGH WITH PELOSI AND REID HAVING CONTROLLED CONGRESS OVER THE PREVIOUS TWO YEARS...) - 7.4%.
(SEE: http://portalseven.com/employment/unemployment_rate.jsp)
FOLKS... (*SIGH*)... THESE ARE THE FRIGG'N NUMBERS... I'LL ALWAYS DO EVERYTHING WITHIN MY POWER TO GIVE YOU THE STRAIGHT DOPE.
http://www.8newsnow.com/story/14575982/mob-of-thieves-swarms-las-vegas-convenience-store
Caught on camera, a mob of young people bombarded the City Stop convenience store on Sunset Road and Pecos Road [in Los Vegas] and stole $600 in merchandise.
* A MOB OF "WHAT" PEOPLE...??? (WATCH THE VIDEO, FOLKS...) (*SMIRK*) (*SNORT*)
* BUY GUNS, PEOPLE. STOCK UP ON AMMO. GET TRAINING. OUR CIVILIZATION IS HANGING BY A THREAD.
"It became a feeding frenzy," said City Stop owner Jon Athey. "They were in the store for three minutes and 30 seconds… It's a pretty scary thing."
* BUT, WAIT... IT WASN'T A SINGLE EVENT!
The crowd started walking out without paying, only to return. "Here it is, two minutes into the deal. They're all coming back for seconds," Athey said.
(*BLOOD SHOOTING OUT OF MY EYES, EARS, NOSE AND MOUTH*)
"We were blessed nobody was hurt," Athey said. Athey says the clerk followed his training. He hopes this crowd doesn't try to swarm another store.
"You can't allow this to happen, because it's going to break out into violence. Some cashier is going to decide that he's got to defend the property, and he'll get hurt," he said.
* AMERICA.... IN THE AGE OF OBAMA.
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20110506/D9N1SG100.html
Parts of the Mississippi Delta are beginning to flood...
* HURRICANES... TORNADOS... WILDFIRES... FLOODS...
* FOLKS... WELL OVER A TRILLION DOLLARS SPENT ON "NATION BUILDING" IN AFGHANISTAN AND IRAQ...
* FOLKS... BILLIONS IN "AID" TO PAKISTAN... TO EGYPT... TO ISRAEL... TO AFRICA...
* FOLKS... AN AMERICAN "EMPIRE" WHICH COSTS US YET DOESN'T BENEFIT US (LIBERATING FIRST KUWAIT, THEN IRAQ; PROTECTING SAUDI ARABIA AND THE ARAB EMIRATES... AND YET NOT SO MUCH AS A DISCOUNT ON IMPORTED OIL...???)
* FOLKS... OUR COUNTRY IS FALLING APART AT THE SEAMS AND YET WE REFUSE TO REASSESS OUR NATIONAL NEEDS AND PRIORITIES.
* FOLKS... TRULY... AMERICA IS A NATION IN DECLINE.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703992704576305414137806694.html?mod=WSJ_Opinion_LEADTop
President Obama has officially kicked off his 2012 re-election campaign, and don't Republicans know it. The president is expected any day now to sign an executive order that routs 70 years of efforts to get politics out of official federal business.
* YET ANOTHER "EXECUTIVE ORDER." (*SIGH*)
Under the order, all companies (and their officers) would be required to list their political donations as a condition to bidding for government contracts.
* NOTE: "COMPANIES." NOT UNIONS. NOT "NON-PROFITS." JUST... "COMPANIES."
Companies can bid and lose out for the sin of donating to Republicans. Or they can protect their livelihoods by halting donations to the GOP altogether - which is the White House's real aim.
Think of it as "not-pay to play."
* AGAIN, FOLKS... I'M ALL FOR TRANSPARENCY... BUT NOT FOR ONLY TARGETED, POLITICIZED TRANSPARENCY.
* I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH PLACING POLITICAL DONATIONS OF INDIVIDUALS OR ENTITIES TO POLITICIANS OR OTHER ENTITIES UPON THE PUBLIC RECORD; I JUST WANT IT TO BE DONE ACROSS THE BOARD.
[T]he order amounts to the White House brazenly directing the power of government against its political opponents...
* THIS DOES INDEED SEEM TO BE THE CASE!
* AND AGAIN, FOLKS... RECALL:
Democrats last year tried to ram through the Disclose Act, designed to muzzle those new corporate rights, while allowing unions to continue spending at will.
* AND THEY FAILED. THEIR LEGISLATION FAILED TO WIN THE NECESSARY VOTES FOR IT TO BECOME THE LAW. (THAT'S HOW LAWS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PUT ON THE BOOKS, FOLKS... VIA CONGRESSIONAL ACTION...) (*SIGH*)
When the party failed to get the bill through even an overwhelmingly Democratic Senate, the White House stepped up.
* VIA EXECUTIVE ACTION. FOLKS... THIS IS A CLEAR ABUSE OF EXECUTIVE POWERS. THE BILL FAILED TO MAKE IT THROUGH CONGRESS. NOW PRESIDENT OBAMA THREATENS TO SIMPLY BYPASS THE DEMOCRATIC PROCESS - BYPASS THE CONSTITUTIONAL SEPARATION OF POWERS - BY UNILATERALLY DOING WHAT CONGRESS VIA CONSTITUTIONAL PROCEDURE COULDN'T.
* FOLKS... THIS NATION IS DECLINING INTO A TYRANNY OF THE EXECUTIVE... (*JUST SHAKING MY HEAD*)
http://blogs.wsj.com/economics/2011/05/06/consumers-increase-credit-card-debt/
U.S. consumers in March increased their credit-card debt for the second time since the financial crisis flared, giving a sign of hope...
* YEP! YOU READ THAT RIGHT, FOLKS... A "SIGN OF HOPE."
* THEY'RE INSANE! IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE! THEY'RE FRIGG'N INSANE...!!!
In its monthly report Friday on borrowing, the Federal Reserve also said overall consumer credit outstanding rose, up $6.02 billion to $2.426 trillion. The increase, the sixth in a row, was bigger than expected. Economists surveyed by Dow Jones Newswires had forecast a $4.8-billion rise in consumer debt during March. The gains came...
* "GAINS." YEP. "GAINS." THE GAINS IN... DEBT...!!!
* OH... MY... GOD...!!!
http://blogs.wsj.com/economics/2011/05/06/consumers-increase-credit-card-debt/
U.S. consumers in March increased their credit-card debt for the second time since the financial crisis flared...
(*SARCASTIC CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*)
* OH, YEAH, BABY... NOTHING LIKE HAVING TO TAKE ON DEBT IN ORDER TO TREAD WATER (OR AT LEAST NOT DROWN) TRYING TO KEEP UP WITH INFLATION!
In its monthly report Friday on borrowing, the Federal Reserve also said overall consumer credit outstanding rose, up $6.02 billion to $2.426 trillion. The increase, the sixth in a row...
(*HEAD READY TO EXPLODE*)
* Um... FOLKS...??? ADDING DEBT IS BAD! (RETIRING DEBT IS GOOD!)
(*SHAKING MY HEAD IN MY HANDS*)
The gains came amid mixed signals about the U.S. economy’s strength.
* MIXED SIGNALS...?!?! ARE THESE BOZOS HIGH...?!?! UNEMPLOYMENT ROSE TO 9%! AT THE SAME TIME CONSUMER DEBT ROSE $6.2 BILLION...! THERE'S NOTHING "MIXED" ABOUT THIS...!!! IT'S A FRIGG'N DISASTER...!!!
Having to pay more to the pump has caused Americans to cut their spending elsewhere.
* DUH...!
* FOLKS... IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS... er... CLARIFICATION... A STEADILY FALLING STANDARD OF LIVING - PAYING MORE, GETTING LESS - IS BAD! BAD! BAD!
The Fed’s data Friday showed revolving credit, which is credit-card debt, rose $1.95 billion to $796.10 billion in March.
(*HEADACHE*)
The Fed said non-revolving credit climbed $4.07 billion to $1.629 trillion.
* AND SO IT GOES... AND SO IT GOES...
http://www.greeleytribune.com/article/20110502/NEWS/705029977/1002&parentprofile=1001
Weld [County, Colorado] District Attorney Ken Buck on Monday announced he had settled with the ACLU, which sued in 2009 over the Operation Numbers Games campaign in 2008, claiming the campaign violated the suspects’ Fourth Amendment rights against unreasonable search and seizure. [The citizens of] Weld County will pay almost $300,000 to the American Civil Liberties Union in a settlement involving a 2-year-old lawsuit over illegal immigration and identity theft.
The deal calls for the county to pay the ACLU attorneys fees of $295,000, which will come from the county’s general fund.
“Not one dime of this will go to individuals,” Buck added. “It all goes to attorneys that ended up filing a lawsuit.”
(*JUST SHAKING MY HEAD*)
In [an] October 2008 [identity theft ring] raid, Weld sheriff’s deputies found 1,338 suspects after seizing roughly 5,000 tax returns from Amalia’s Translation and Tax Service in Greeley in a search for illegal immigrants committing identity theft.
Weld District Court Judge Marcelo Kopcow signed off on the search warrant.
* TO REITERATE...
Weld District Court Judge Marcelo Kopcow signed off on the search warrant.
* ONE MORE TIME FOR LUCK...
Weld District Court Judge Marcelo Kopcow signed off on the search warrant.
* CONTINUING...
About 142 cases charging suspects with criminal impersonation and identity theft moved forward through the courts before a public defender in one case persuaded a judge to suppress the tax evidence seized.
(*GNASHING MY TEETH*)
In March 2009, Buck appealed that suppression issue to the Colorado Supreme Court, which ruled against him in December 2009.
The county then put an all-stop on the cases going through the courts.
* OH... BTW...
“There are 1,338 victims of identity theft who can’t even be told as a result of this lawsuit that their identities are being used illegally, and that’s just terribly unfortunate in this case,” Buck said. “The ACLU blocked us from being able do so.”
* CONTINUING...
Meanwhile, the ACLU had already filed the lawsuit against Buck and Cooke two months before. It claimed the operation violated the Fourth Amendment rights of those 5,000 tax clients. Two district court level judges agreed; a Larimer District Court judge late last year made permanent an injunction against the county, stating it must destroy all the records it found.
* BUT... BUT... BUT... WELD DISTRICT COUNTY COURT JUDGE MARCEL KOPCOW SIGNED OFF ON THE SEARCH WARRANT...?!?!
“Law enforcement gets criticized a lot for being reactive,” Cooke said, “and we were being proactive trying to stop the ID theft and impersonation cases, and we got shot down. … Back when all this started happening, even after we got shot down by a local judge, the support from the community has been very good. A lot of community members would tell me, ‘You guys did the right thing.’ I think the community understands and overwhelmingly still supports us.”
(*NOD*)
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